I was hurt. I haven’t slept well.
I have a fight with my husband the other day and for whatever reason, he gave me the silent treatment.
I tried so hard to break through the stone wall, but to no avail. It’s so painful.
Where are you? Why did you leave me alone when I need you the most?
How can I suddenly feel so deeply isolated?
Here’s the thing…Relationships can be tricky. Oftentimes, people you care about the most hurt you the worst.
Most of us can relate on some level to that feeling.
Queasy, tremulous, heavy-hearted, anguished, and so darn emotional.
But hey. You should know better. Why on earth are you letting this affect you?
I finally sat in a room alone. I let the dust settle. I let the noise die down. I let the tears cleanse my soul. And there was a whisper: Nothing is personal.
Looking back, it’s easy to say I shouldn’t have take it too seriously or take it personally, but when you are in the thick of it all, it’s all too easy to fall into this trap.
No matter what you’re going through right now, I hope this post will help you (or my future self) riding through the emotional waves and hopefully never experience the unhappiness of hurt, again.
Nothing is Personal
There is no life without relationships.
When we interact with other people, there’s a constant giving and receiving flow of energy.
Like the ebb and tide of the ocean, sometimes they fill our lives with joy, happiness and peace. But occasionally, they may talk or act foolishly and even treat us badly.
It’s usually someone we interact often with- a friend, spouse, parent, child, boss or colleague that cause us unnecessary hurt, unhappiness and emotional pain.
Expect it and accept it. It’s all part of life.
But it doesn’t mean that you’ve to suffer.
Remember whatever people think, do, feel or say, do not — ever! — take it personally.
Nothing others do is because of you. It is because of themselves.
What they do, say, think is a projection of their own reality.
If you don’t take it personally, you’re immune to actions and opinions of others.
Knowing this truth will set you free.
The Truth Will Set You Free
He did so because he didn’t know how to express his anger or disappointment in a healthy manner.
Even if he had found himself out of love with me, he didn’t not love me against me. He fell out of love with me because all the conditions and programming inside his head led him to not love me.
His not loving me would not be personal. It’s just that everyone see the world with their own different eyes.
While however much I can feel helpless, alone, or profoundly sad, it doesn’t change the fact that he’s dealing with himself, not with me.
I should not take it as a personal affront, I should stop setting myself up to suffer for nothing.
The Antidote to Suffering
Don’t take anything personally will prevent you from needless suffering.
Because really, nothing anyone does is personal! It’s only the human mind acting out its egoic conditioning.
What they say and do tell us more about their perception and history of their inner world.
All the unpleasant, nasty and offensive remarks are actually reflections of their own programming. The story that they’ve been creating inside their minds, the shield they’ve built to protect their emotional wound, and the identity they’ve mistaken as true Self.
Once you truly understand this, and refuse to take things personally, you will not slighted by their negativity or attacks to the core.
Instead, you’ll feel compassion and love for yourself and others. Forgive others so that you can forgive yourself and finally set yourself free from being a victim or slave of emotions.
Steps to Taking Nothing Personal
To help you not take anything personally, here are few simple steps that you can put into practice.
1. Be conscious
Are you aware when you feel hurt, sad or despair?
Examine your thoughts and know when you take things personally.
2. Practice
You’re not your thoughts or emotions but the person who feels and thinks them.
Create a distance between your feeling and reaction. It will give you space to hear how you’re talking to yourself, see a bigger picture of the whole scenario.
Can you separate yourself from what you think and feel?
Once the light penetrates through the gap between thoughts and emotions, you will see things clearer.
If you choose not to take things personally, your anger, jealousy, envy, despair, sadness will evaporate out of your aura right away.
You will understand that he did that because of his problem. It’s about him and not you.
It takes practice to break many routines that trap you in the mind and start taking nothing personal as a strong habit.
3. Accept yourself
Do your best and accept yourself the way you are. Be honest with yourself, learn from your mistakes, and keep practicing.
4. Respect others
Know that everyone is on their own unique self-discovery and self-healing journey. No one can control, fix, save or improve someone else.
I can feel my heart is beating really fast and pumping hard. What I really need now is some sleep.
Nothing is personal, but it costs me many sleepless nights.
Don’t take things personally. Be well till next time.
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