Prior to this, I was working on a full-time job as an optometrist, my husband (then boyfriend) has been bootstrapping his startups from his bedroom since the year 2010. And this is how I quit my job and work from home full time.
Nothing excites me more than the mere idea of quitting a soul-crushing job and finally able to join my husband working from home and create the life of our dreams together.
For the past 2 years, we’ve been working from our tiny bedroom. No, we don’t have our own office or any special at-home workspace. Literally, we’re working side-by-side on a rectangular desk, every single day.
Well, it’s what I’ve always yearned for. I don’t miss those crazy mornings of rushing to work and socializing with toxic co-workers at the office. So tiring. So unproductive.
And now I have created a life that truly allows freedom in almost every aspect.
After all, striving for the same goals with the person you love most in the world is an incredible thing!
However, working together with your spouse 24/7 comes with its own unique set of challenges and issues.
Owning a company with your significant other means you can easily throw work-life balance out of the window. If we aren’t careful, stress from work can affect our relationships and work can consume our lives.
Due to this, I thought it would be helpful to talk about the different ways to work together more efficiently with your spouse.
Whether you’re planning to start a business with your other half or you’ve already worked together, I hope this 7 tips will help you survive, thrive and grow professionally and matrimonially.
Related content:
- 10 Best Work From Home Jobs that take little or no experience
- The 100 Rules for being a Maverick in life & business
- How to work as hard as Elon Musk in a world of lazy dreamers
- Boost your productivity with these Free tools & tips
7 Survival Tips for Spouses Who Both Work from Home
1. Each of us is different on our own special way.
And RESPECT that.
When it comes to working everyone has his own routine and method of getting things done.
Being an early bird, I perform the best in the morning. Usually, I wake up at 8.30am and start with this win the morning ritual before working on important tasks.
It’s the most productive hours of my day. How can I miss it?
But it’s the exact opposite for my husband.
It’s not uncommon to find him still sleeping soundly while I’m having lunch.
To top it all, he likes to turn on the TV or music and work with a background noise. While I prefer to work in a quiet environment.
He doesn’t have a to-do list while I like to plan things ahead.
To be frank, when I first moved in and stayed together with my husband, I felt uncomfortable with his different internal clock functions and working pattern.
But I can do nothing about it. It’s totally out of my control. What’s in control is my perception and attitude towards the situation.
Instead of trying to change others, I see this difference as an opportunity to focus on my work in the mornings without any distractions.
Unlike conventional office settings, you can’t expect your spouse to clock in and be your best friend at work.
Understand, accept and respect each other’s difference is the key to establish a healthy, harmonious relationship.
Gary Vaynerchuk, once said, “To me, life is pretty simple. There’s things you can control and others you can’t. Everything boils down to your actions and your mindset but there’s just far too many of you continuously caught up that just don’t see it that way.”
2. Set boundaries
I’m seriously considering having a special workplace or room for both of us. Sometimes, it’s very hard to refrain from talking, asking petty questions or quick solutions when he is just sitting beside me.
Guess what? Most of the time, we’ll catch each at other at the wrong time. Slowly but surely, this little interruptions grow into frustration and add stress to our relationship and lives.
And thus having a separate space is especially important. It will help reduce distractions from your spouse.
Plus, you won’t want to discuss holiday planning, grocery shopping and other issues during the working hour.
Perhaps, you can send your spouse an email or message on Facebook, allowing he/she to reply during break time.
By setting boundaries, it will help you focus on what really matters, and stop seeking excessive attention from your spouse during the most productive hour.
If you and your spouse have a separate office or workplace, then it ‘d be easy to set boundaries and respect each other’s space.
If it’s not feasible for whatever reason, even if one of you work from the living room or kitchen table may provide a fix.
3. Give yourself space
The only thing I miss most now while working together with my husband is the “me” time.
For sure, we’re spending plenty of time together.
We work, we eat, we sleep and sometimes we retreat to the couch to watch a movie together. But most of the time, when I look up, I see both of us are either on our laptops or our phones. It can be doing some work, writing or simply just scrolling through Twitter or Instagram.
Sometimes I feel suffocated; sometimes I feel an immense sense of loneliness. I don’t know why.
And so they say, “ Take a step back is the best way to move forward”.
As an extreme introvert, I find it pretty exhausting to just hanging out with friends, join any classes or just purposely getting away from my husband.
Instead, spending an hour a day in the kitchen preparing dinner, do some reading or meditate before sleep does help me in recharging my mind and body, calming my emotions, and drawing back into the rhythm of life.
It’s no one’s fault. It’s the universal law that each of us needs a daily personal space for our overall wellbeing.
4. Change your working environment occasionally
Spending too much time indoors and working from the same old place will kill your productivity and creativity.
Trust me, when you haven’t left the house for days, soon you’ll find yourself stuck in the four walls and the only person you see is your spouse. I’ve been there, as of writing I’m still constantly dealing with it.
While you’re own boss, and work should be fun.
That’s why once in a while it’s good to work away from home and change your working environment.
We don’t have a fixed schedule of working at a particular place. But at least once every two weeks, we will go out and work at Starbucks, coworking space or other coffee shops.
This change of scenery and ambiance provide a fresh outlook and help boost our productivity.
5. Get out of the house together!
Sometimes it can feel a little overwhelming, lifeless and claustrophobic being at home all the time with your spouse so much.
Apart from working away from home, making some efforts to have some fun time together- weekend trips or weekday dates.
Every Wednesdays we’ll go to a movie. Every week, we will go hiking at the nearby hill and jogging at the lake garden, almost without fail.
With the daily commuting time saved, you actually have more time to do what you love doing and live more!
In addition, we also tried to make an effort of taking one month off traveling somewhere new once a year.
6. Communicate
Working from home with your spouse means you have to collaborate, discuss ideas, seeking feedbacks constantly with your most reliable ally.
Keeping the open dialogues with respect and patience is extremely important in both business and marriage.
If you find it hard to voice out, try allocating a special section where both of you can be honest and open with each other to address any opinions, concerns and issues.
7. Celebrate Your Progress
“Success is steady progress toward one’s personal goal.”
Because my home is my workplace, literally we are always working, days and nights, weekdays and weekends. It’s very hard to divide personal and working worlds when your bedroom is your working place.
By celebrate progress or small success on a weekly basis, it actually helps us to reinforce a positive attitude towards our goals.
It’s the time to relax, slow down, zoom out, reward ourselves and reflect on our little achievement as well as reminding ourselves how worthy we’re of having all that we want.
Did you know that the average full-time employees work for two hours and 53minutes in an eight-hour workday? That’s about 180minutes.
They waste most of their workday doing many other non-work related things such as reading news, socializing, checking social media or eating.
So if you can concentrate and work for 200minutes a day, you’re 10% more productive than most office workers.
Based on the law of compounding, this daily 10% will double your productivity, contribution and effort to work compared to your coworkers every 7 days!
If you survive the week, there’s no reason not to celebrate with your spouse.
Moving on to the next tasks as quickly as possible without taking time to savor successes will wreak havoc on mind and body.
Have a weekly review to continually reflect on and celebrate small wins will help you create and sustain the motivation necessary for long-term success.
Being able to run in the same lane, share our creative energy and build the life of our dreams together is the best thing happens to us!
Don’t let this daily friction hurts your business as well as your relationship as husband and wife.
Despite all the ups and downs, working from home with your spouse is an incredibly rewarding and fulfilling life experience!
Explore, play around and find the things that work best for both of you.
To my soulmate, lover, roommate, coworker, business partner, husband, Happy 2nd Anniversary!